Schaff's Blog

It’s technically Saturday morning, 2:30 am local time.  I must be on a taxi to the airport in a few hours.  Do I sleep or blog?  I blog for the time being.  There are thoughts in my head to precious to waste and sleep is of little consequence when facing three flights totaling 20 hours of air time over the next day and a half.  I bang out a few supplemental blog entries ala Capt. Picard, doctor their time stamps and launch into this wrap up.

The week ends with dinner at a swank Taipei restaurant including several people from the Taipei office I am meeting for the first time and three key people from one of our biggest, longest and most valued customers.  Why is a stripped down version of “Die Another Day” running on an infinite loop in the background?  The movie sucked yet I am compelled to watch an occaisional scene while making small talk with our dinner guests.  Quick note, Arnold joins us as he is in town for other business and this used to be his primary customer.  He’s jovial and engaging the customer seems to appreciate his presence.  Relationships do matter in this business.

That being said, the Japan office has a good and long standing relationship with the customer as well.  We set off to a Taipei nightclub after dinner with two customers in tow.  One of the customers frequents this spot and even has a drink named ofter him.  I order one; it is kiwi based and tasty.  Conversation ranges from business to pleasure and back again.  Lofty ideas are exchanged and I feel a genuine connection is established – something I never managed to achive despite many trips by this customer to Waltham.

We take a taxi home around 2 am.  My travelmates from marketing sleep on the way home.  Their weight shifts back and forth with the cab’s traversing the the Taipei streets, pinning me against the driver’s side read door.  Wide awake, I am content.  I have learned much: the opinions of the customer, the strengths of our marketing and the value of our local sales teams.  Each has an equally difficult job as that of an engineer’s and I am better in tune with their plight.

I enter my hotel room wreaking of smoke feeling much as I did at the end of a Friday night in my mid 20’s after a rousing night out in Boston.  Do I sleep or blog?  I blog.  Thoughts are captured for posterity… although I can never truly do them justice.

In the spirit of NPH I call forward the visage of another three letter thesbian.

I’m strolling out of a business meeting in Japan with my colleages when I encounter a strange sight to me…me being the ever astute disciple of obscure Americana.  In the lobby of a building of a respectible Japanese business is a vending machine donning the image of one Tommy Lee Jones.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of Tommy Lee Jones.  But nothing about the man makes me want to buy coffee, tea, Pepsi or Gatorade.  And look at the picture.  This is not the face of a man that makes you want to appraoch a vending machine.  This is the face of a man that is contemplating putting a bullet in his head.  “‘Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more,’ pass the revolver, I’m checking out.”  That’s what this vending machine says to me.

I won’t pretend to understand Japanese advertisining.  Any Westerner who has been to Japan would certainly agree.  It’s the unrebuttable protagonist to Seinfeld’s one liner, “Who’s the Marketing Genius Behind This Ad?!?”  And yet a quick Google search proves me wrong.  Perhaps the Japanese are on to something…

http://www.japanprobe.com/2007/09/26/10-japanese-coffee-commercials-starring-tommy-lee-jones/

Tonight the Japan office decided “see what Mike will  eat” wasn’t challenging enough.  Tonight we played “see what Mike will drink.”  Unlike last night, I won this battle.  But ask me at 5:30 am local time tomorrow.  That’s when I have to wake up to catch a train.  I suspect an appellate court would rule in the favor of the Japan office.  Evidence: dark circles under the eyes, falling asleep in front of the customer, etc.

Apparently an “atomic bomb” in Japan/Korea is akin to an “Irish Car Bomb” in the Boston area.  Neither depicts a politically positive connotation.  That being said, the atomic bomb is decidedly wimpier than its East coast US counterpart.  Guiness, Bailey’s and Jameson is uncomparable.  I decided to demonstrate by taking down a Kirin and Soju “atomic bomb” in full competitive form.  I completed the task to many cheers from my comrades.  My vistory was decisive.  Yet I suspect the ultimate judgement will take place tomorrow morning when I wake up…way too early…for the train to God knows where on the island of Nippon.

I vaguely remember this beginning as a blog for my two toddler sons, Dylan and Calvin.  I guess they’ll have to wait until they are of age to read this.  Cheers my friends…errr…Kanpai!

We practically skipped lunch today as we were running late for a meeting.  No, four bites of a sandwich purchased from a convenience store doesn’t count as lunch in my book.  I was starving.  So when it came to a sushi dinner, I enthusiastically pronounced, “I’ll eat anything.”  My colleagues at the Conexant Japan office took that quite literally.  The sushi combo platter seemed innocent enough – I accepted the offer.  Other things were ordered unbeknownst to me.  We started with a salad dressed with crab liver.  Uh-oh.  This was quickly becoming a “let’s see what’s the grossest thing hungry Mike will eat” contest .  This is not a game I can win.  I eat the salad, the Uni (sea urchin) on the sushi combo (see left middle) and the rest of the combo: things with legs, things with heads and things with legs and heads.  They break me with the a dish that looks like fish brains covered in fuschia tapenade.  They said it is “roe”.  “But I ate roe on the sushi combo and it doesn’t look like this,” I reply (see right middle).  “Ah, that was female roe…this is male roe,” they counter.  Quick fact check – roe is fish egg.  Females lay eggs so male roe…is something I don’t care to eat much less have explained to me.  My appetite is kaputt.  I hit the sake hard.

Addendum: Suzuki-san adds something to the effect of, “I’ve never eaten monkey brains but those who have tell me the taste [of male roe] is similar.”  I was thinking of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom when the dish was served but I never really believed people ate monkey brains.  Suzuki-san is serious – people really do eat monkey brains.  WTF is wrong with this place?

Overbooked. AA is offering $800 vouchers, hotel and meals to take tomorrow’s flight. Scott has already boarded. Time to bolt?

Scott got me into the American Airlines lounge at LAX.  Free drink coupon too!  It’s only 10:30 am so I opt for Perrier over beer.  Something for the boys though…goldfish snacks for adults.

Back to the dark ages. This is my first iPhone post and probably my last iPhone post for a week. Won’t be using it oversees.

Calvin is a big bus fan.  Plenty of those as LAX.  Here is a snapshot of the one I rode.  Calvin, bus!  Bus!

I’m being stalked by Rachel McAdam’s…likeness.  I watched State of Play last week – a decent flick which co-stars McAdams.  She appears again in the in-flight movie from BOS to LAX, The Time Traveller’s Wife.  I promised to watch TTTW with Jen a while back so I grab my blinders and take a power nap.  Then waiting for the hotel shuttle at LAX there McAdams is again, flanking the bus stop!  There are worse fates to be had.